Eighth and Final Story

I have completed the rough draft of my eighth and final story. This story is told from the point of view of Agatha Laurens. In this story, Agatha is still Stephen’s girlfriend, but in truth, she can hardly stand being in his company, though she doesn’t quite know why. Stephen has taken her on a vacation to Cancun, and during her time there, she has repeated flashbacks about her time spent with Molly. In the first one, she is back in high school, having a conversation with Molly about a boy she likes. The second one takes place at a later time in high school. In it, Agatha introduces Molly to her current boyfriend Nick. Once Nick leaves, Molly brings up the fact that just two weeks ago, Agatha was dating a boy named Johnny. Agatha says that Johnny doesn’t have what she’s looking for in a guy, but when Molly asks what this is, Agatha changes the subject to the spring dance. Molly says that she has no one to go with, even though a few boys have asked her already. Agatha tells her to just pick one and go with him. Molly gets a little bit angry at this, but then apologizes and says that something has been bothering her recently. In the final flashback, Agatha remembers the fight that caused her and Molly to stop talking to each other. Agatha goes to Molly’s studio, and the two of them start talking about their lives. Eventually, Molly ends up questioning the soundness of Agatha’s relationship with Stephen. This sparks an argument that ends with Agatha accusing Molly of wanting her to be just as a alone as Molly is.

At the end of the story, Stephen proposes to Agatha. I don’t say how she responds, but from Stephen’s reaction, it’s pretty obvious that she says yes.

Throughout this story, I wanted to show both Agatha’s capriciousness and Molly’s attraction to her. For example, in the first flashback, Molly questions Agatha about her crush on Bradley Miller. (By the way, he ends up being an orderly in the mental hospital where Ridley is committed.) Agatha is able to offer a few superficial reasons for liking him, but nothing deeper. In the second flashback, the swiftness with which Agatha moves through boyfriends is brought up. In the final flashback, Molly asks Agatha what she likes about Stephen. Once again, Agatha is able to come up with some superficial things, but nothing beyond those.

As for Molly, her critical attitude toward Agatha’s dating behavior, while partially motivated by concern for her friend, is also motivated by jealousy. In the first flashback, she jokingly says to Agatha in an exaggerated Southern accent, “Miz Laurens, if you was mah lovah, you could lay in bed an’ eat buttahscotch candies all day.” It’s the kind of thing a friend might jokingly say to another friend, but in this case, it also holds a hint of sincerity. At the end of this flashback, Molly shows Agatha a sketch that she did of her. When Agatha tells her that it’s great, Molly responds, “Not just great, dummy. It’s beautiful.” And of course, in the second flashback, the thing that has been bothering Molly is the question of her own sexuality.

In the original draft of this story that I wrote for my creative writing class, Stephen (who was then unnamed), was an overly idealized boyfriend. He was handsome, supportive, and made a lot of money, and any faults he might have had were never brought up. In this draft, I have Agatha mention some of his flaws to Molly. For example, he’s boring, he snores, and he can be condescending sometimes. I thought this would make Stephen a little more realistic.

On a slightly related note, I decided to remove the line in Stephen’s story about Agatha having cheated on him. On an unrelated note, if I ever said that Annapolis Patch ran away from home after Honolulu’s death, I’ve since changed that.

Now that I have finished the rough drafts of all of my stories, I have to revise each of them. It’s going to be a grind, but I think I can manage it.


  1. Sounds like a complicated plot, but interesting. Good luck! πŸ™‚